Thou shalt always…

Brilliant lyrics from Dan le Sac vs. Scroobious Pip. Kill in this case being perform brilliantly rather than murder someone, I think.

Thou Shalt Always Kill

Thou shall not steal if there is a direct victim
Thou shall not worship Pop Idols, or follow Lost Prophets

Thou shall not take the names of Jonny Cash, Joe Strummer and Jonny Hartman, Desmond Decker and Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, or Syd Barrett in vain

Thou shall not think any male over the age of thirty that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile: some people are just nice

Thou shalt not read NME
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they have become popular
Thou shall not question Stephen Fry
Thou shall not judge a book by its cover
Thou shall not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover
Thou shall not buy Coca Cola products
Thou shall not buy Nestle products

Thou shall not go into the woods with your boyfriends best friend, take drugs, and cheat on him
Thou shall not fall in love so easily

Thou shall not use poetry, art or music to get into girl’s pants: use it to get into their heads

Thou shall not watch Hollyoaks

Thou shall not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you’ve done your shitty little poem or song you self righteous prick
Thou shall not return to the same club or bar, week in, week out, just coz you once saw a that girl you fancy that you’re never gonna fucking talk to anyway

Thou shall not put musicians or recording artists on ridiculous pedestals, no matter how great they are, or were:

The Beatles, were just a band
Led Zepplin, just a band
The Beach Boys, just a band
The Sex Pistols, just a band
The Clash, just a band
Crass, just a band
Minor Threat, just a band
The Cure, were just a band
The Smiths, just a band
Nirvana, just a band
The Pixies, just a band
Oasis, just a band
Radiohead, just a band
Blockparty, just a band
The Arctic Monkeys, just a band
The Next Big Thing, just a band

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies which occur in non-English speaking countries, as to those that occur in English speaking countries

Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements, and never will be

Thou shall not make repetitive generic music
Thou shall not make repetitive generic music
Thou shall not make repetitive generic music
Thou shall not make repetitive generic music

Thou shall not pimp my ride
Thou shall not scream if you wanna go faster
Thou shall not move to the sound of the wickedness
Thou shall not make some noise for Detroit
When I say “hey” you shall not say “ho”
When I say “hip” you shall not say “hop”
When I say he say she say we say. Make. Some. Noise.

Kill me.

Thou shall not quote me happy
Thou shall not shake it like a Polaroid picture
Thou shall not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Thou shalt spell the word phoenix P-H-E-O-N-I-X, not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you

Thous shall not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying “is it?”

Thou shalt think for yourselves

And thou shalt always, thou shalt always



3 responses to “Thou shalt always…

  1. Admirable sentiment, but awful backing noise. 😉

  2. It does occur to me that `repetitive generic music’ might be an ironic statement.

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